Words matter.

August 16, 2020 Anne-Grethe Krogh Nielsen

“Words that matter.”

This little book One Q and A a day. 36 questions and a 5 year journal, has some great questions to ponder. On August 13 the question was: “What’s your favorite word right now?”

Think about it.

Is it positive or negative?

Is it reflecting on your state of mind and/or the state of the world?

Is it a kind word?

Does it need an exclamation mark behind it? Or a question mark.

My word is HUMILITY. And as a true pastor I cannot just mention one word! So HUMILITY along with 2 others: HUMOR AND HUMANITY.

Remember you word – bear it in mind during this sermon.

Words words words. We are surrounded by words. Today you as a congregation at home or here on the patio, are surrounded by words as we are at most services. Or rather embraced by divine words.

The prayers, the hymns, the readings, the sermons are all words, words, and words. But not just any words! The words at a church service should embrace us, comfort us, and challenge us as divine words spoken by the mouth of God – and as we heard in the gospel from Matthew by the mouth of Jesus.

Words do carry great significance and power. Every day we breathe something of our spirit, our faith and our hope into the consonants and the vowels, that constitute our human speech. In some sense, we are our words, and our words are us.

Most of us were taught somewhere during our childhood and upbringing that words matter and have implications.

“If you can say anything nice, don’t say anything at all!” might echo the simple advice from our mother to encourage us to be kind and considerate more than brutal honest. Words can be truthful and hurtful. Or as a modified version of the advice, encourages us:

“If you can’t say something nice to say, say it nicely!”

There is even a song about it, written by the crooner Roy Orbison:

“And if you can't say something nice

Do not say anything at all

Do you not know that she is had a bad, bad fall

And if you cannot say something nice

Don't say anything at all.”

Kindness matters. Even the words of our mouths and the whisperings of our hearts can be used to build up or tear down, to bless or to curse. Kindness, then, is a life-changing, life-giving habit of the heart.

Words have implications. The way we use them matters. Words can coerce or liberate. Words can create or destroy. Words an motivate or paralyze.

The wonderful charismatic author May Angelou, who truly did use her words to influence, explain and encourage, once said:

“Be careful about the words you use, or the words you allow to be used in your home.”

As parents we do know that small jars have big ears, and small children are like sponges. What ever you say, what ever words and language you use, they will repeat and imitate.

I remember when Kristian was 4-5 years old and we were teaching him, which words he could not use. Which words were bad words?

One day when Kristian and I were attending a Mother and Child Gymnastic class, we were seated in a circle afterwards. Mothers and children, talking and laughing. And then some of the mothers used some of the words that Kristian was not allowed to use. So, like a little troll in a box, he jumped up and pointed at the sinner with a small persisting raised finger to saying: “You are not allowed to say that!” Not just once, but several times he did so!

Of course, it was funny, but I was also painfully aware of the fact that Kristian was an outspoken Pastor Kid, correcting the mothers so the mothers almost felt as if his mother, the pastor, had been correcting them!

Words do matter. And it certainly matters how we speak with each other.

I often feel like Kristian these days, when I am reading statements and claims on Social Media – thinking you are not allowed to say that, or it is not polite to say that. “If you cannot say anything nice, then don’t say anything! Or at least if you can say anything nice, they say it nicely!

Jesus was and is reminding his disciples today about the power of spoken words.

It is not what we eat and put into our mouths, that defiles us. “What comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart and this is what defiles. For out of the heart come evil intentions, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, and slander. “

Listen and understand. These words were not just spoken a long time ago and written down and handed over from generation to generation. These words are spoken to us today, - and they painfully and directly confront and expose, how we use our words and how evil intentions, anger, sadness, disrespect, disagreements, and carelessness comes out of our mouth. Not to be spoken directly to someone’s face – but to be written on Social Media. Where we can still hide behind our screen and not be facing others face to face.

Increasingly I think about matters or words, communication, and language, as I witness the effect that the disrespectful, dangerous, and defiling language on Social Media has.

Dehumanizing rhetoric that instill fear or paranoia. Words that lacks trust in any civility, knowledge, or common sense. Corrupt speech and manic conspiracy theories are floating.

And we only trust the words that reflect our own opinion – and hardly ever truly listen to understand and to be understood.

Language is the most distinctive thing about us as human beings. The way we select and use our words, matters. And therefore, choosing words that foster courtesy, civility, or grace seems an almost sacred enterprise.

Which is exactly what Jesus is telling us today. In Matthew 12.36 Jesus says that our own words will someday justify or condemn us: “ I tell you on the day of judgment you will have to give an account for every careless word you utter,” – these careless words should have our attention.

In that sense, we are our words, and our words are us.

I do know that the emotions are so raw in this moment.

I do know that we are in an election year.

I do know that the political scene is more divided than ever.

I do know that we do not all agree on how to react to COVID19 or even if it is a real thing.

I do know that the BLM movement has fueled an important, hard, and necessary conversation.

I do know that many people do not trust the government, the police, the CDC, the FBI, the CIA, the President, the congress, the politicians or even knowledge.

I know, I know.

But where does all this distrust lead us? Where does all this incivility leads us? How are we going to build a bridge over the divided waters or even try to find common ground?

We desperately lack civility, citizenship, and compassion.

We desperately lack humility, humor, and humanity.

There are so many angry voices and words surrounding us out there in the real life.

But here we are in church, surrounded and embraced by words of Christ, that should remind and teach us that whatever goes into our mouth is not what defiles or divides. If we eat pork and bacon, or kale and peaches, is not the problem about our purity, dignity, and salvation. The problem it is whatever goes out of our mouth that is the problem.

The voice of Jesus is always telling us that civility and respect is part of the healing of the world. Reconciliation and forgiveness were and is a central part of every word and every act that Jesus did.

How do we imitate and follow Jesus during a contentious political climate, a worldwide politicized pandemic, and a challenging, hard but necessary conversation about race and equality?

“Words mean more than what is set down on paper.

It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning. “Maya Angelou.

Words matter. Conversations matter. Personal encounters matter.

And it matters who speak them. In the second part of todays gospel we encounter the Canaanite women who pleads Jesus to have mercy on her and help her daughter. Her words and her heartfelt plea did matter as her persistence and her faith at the end moves Jesus to listen and to have compassion for her.

Humanity and humility were in her words – and Jesus heard her words, her cry, and her prayer.

And there is some humor in the way the Canaanite women quickly replies Jesus. First, Jesus dismisses her:” It is not fair to let the dogs eat the children’s dinner.” But the woman is quick and street smart when she replies: “But even the dogs can take the crumbs that fall from the table, isn’t that right?”

Maybe Jesus was not just amazed by her faith and her persistence, but also by her humorous and quick answer.

An that kind of humor might not have been incidental. Joking and teasing is a great way to defuse a tense situation. You might know that from you family or your friends. A good laughter can manage to defuse a very contentious conversation and unite us in a laughter instead. When we share humor, we can establish a new and more productive relationship.

Humor, humanity and humility like Desmond Tutu and Dalai Lama pointed out in their Book of Joy.

The kind of humility displayed in the gospel is important. Humility is shared humanity and an ability to be able not to take yourself too seriously. Humor can bind people together even as it humbles us. Because real humor, good humor, exposes the ludicrous, the absurd and the ironic. It bursts bubbles.

Humility, humanity, and humor… were my words. Remember you word from the beginning of the sermon. Is it building up or tearing down, building bridge, or building walls, blessing, or cursing? Is it a kind word? A lifechanging word.

Words matter.

The words spoken by Jesus to his disciples mattered and the words spoken by Jesus to the Canaanite woman mattered.

The words spoken to us today – here during services – matter.

Let what comes out of your mouth define you and not defile you.

Let what comes out of your mouth be kind and yet constructive, nice but still honest, respectful, and still with conviction.

“Be careful about the words you use, or the words you allow to be used in your home.”

Always consider if you want your children og grandchildren to repeat your words and your language?

In that sense, we are our words, and our words are us.

Just like Jesus was his words and his words were and is him.

AMEN.